What Names Should We Use in Our Ketubah?
Your ketubah identifies you in Hebrew using your names and your parents' names. There are two ways to do this: ritual Hebrew names or secular names written in Hebrew.
Here's what you need to know.
Option 1: Ritual Hebrew Names
This is the traditional choice, and the first option when you have Hebrew names to use.
A ritual Hebrew name is the name used in Jewish religious ceremonies, such as being called to the Torah. It may have been given at a brit milah, baby naming, or conversion, but not everyone receives one through a formal ceremony.
Ritual Hebrew names include your Hebrew given name and your parent's or parents' names.
For example:
שרה בת אברהם ורחל
Sarah, daughter of Abraham and Rachel
The exact format depends on your ketubah text:
Orthodox: Traditionally uses the father's Hebrew name.
Conservative: Uses both parents' names, father first.
Reform, Reconstructionist, Renewal, and other progressive texts: Use both parents' names, with more flexibility about their order.
Family names may also be included, depending on the text.
What if one of us isn't Jewish?
You can still use the ritual Hebrew naming format.
If the Jewish partner has a Hebrew name, I use that name and write the non-Jewish partner's secular name phonetically in Hebrew, following the same naming structure for both partners.
The same applies to non-Jewish parents' names: their actual names are written in Hebrew letters.
There's no need to invent a Hebrew ritual name or assign a religious identity that isn't theirs.
Option 2: Secular Names Written in Hebrew
This is an alternative when you don't have ritual Hebrew names to provide.
If you supply only secular names for both partners, I use a formal modern-Hebrew format.
Your everyday names are written in Hebrew, usually phonetically, and combined with your parents' names and family name.
For example:
,שרה, בתם של אברהם ורחל, למשפחת כהן
Sarah, daughter of Abraham and Rachel, of the Cohen family,
This format works for interfaith and Jewish couples and doesn't require anyone to have a ritual Hebrew name.
What if we don't know our Hebrew names?
You may have Hebrew names even if you didn't have a formal naming ceremony. You can ask your family or rabbi, or discuss choosing appropriate Hebrew names.
If you don't have ritual Hebrew names to provide, the secular format offers another option.
What about nonbinary names?
Hebrew is a gendered language, but gender-neutral alternatives are possible.
I can work with you on wording that identifies you through your family or household without using the traditional “son of” or “daughter of” construction. Because the language is still evolving, these choices may require additional review.
What information should we provide?
For each partner, please provide:
Your full secular name.
Your ritual Hebrew name, if you have one.
Your parents' names, including Hebrew names if known.
Your family name.
Any special naming preferences or instructions from your officiant.
Don't worry about writing everything in Hebrew yourself. I can prepare the Hebrew spelling and phonetic transliterations, and you'll have the opportunity to review the names in your proofs.
If you're unsure about your names or your ketubah's requirements, I'm happy to help you sort it out.
Questions? ginny@ketubah-arts.com